Whatever happens is the only thing that could have
Yesterday Ashley Cooper posted a question on the OSLIST about the enigmatic principle of “whatever happens is only thing that could have:
Feeling those gathered in San Francisco, swimming in the hearty open space soup, I find a myself pondering a topic I would host if I were there… a topic I’d love to have a conversation around.
I’m curious about the wording of the principle, “what ever happens is the only thing that could have”. I know John Engle brought this question up in the past http://www.openspaceworld.org/news/2007/05/11/whatever-happens/ and I’m still curious about it.
I find that people sometimes use it as a block to reflection, a reason to not look back and learn from what didn’t happen because “whatever happens is the only thing that could have.” Yes, and…
I love the principle for the acceptance that it invites. And I struggle with it because there is a sense of finality that it also invites (if you want to let yourself go there). We did what we did and that’s, that. Which is true… And…
I appreciate how in Haiti they are playing with What Happens is what happens – learn and move forward. I like the learn and keep moving part.
Are there other ways that people phrase this principle? How do you invite the spirit of acceptance and invitations to be with what is alive and happening in the moment, while also inviting reflection and learning from what has and has not emerged?
If anyone at WOSonOS is reading this and you find this conversation springing up in your face to face time, please do share your harvest with us. I’m contemplating posting a skype session tomorrow morning on this topic… and I’ve not yet been able to commit myself to being inside at the computer tomorrow morning!!
I put the question to a few folks here and recorded about a half hour of their answers. Wisdom follows from Larry Peterson, Michael Cook, Viv McWaters, Peggy Holman, Susan Kerr, Michael Pannwitz, David Barnes, Jeff Aitken, Lisa Heft, Aine Corrigan-Frost, Alan Stewart, Phelim McDermott, Elwin Guild, John Engle and Brian Bainbridge, You can listen to the interviews here:
chris, this is great for the richness of voices and perspectives – thanks for the inventive idea to be journalist and link the recording – and it also conjures the feel of the space that we shared until a few hours ago… i can hardly believe that it’s over… travel well you four
Hi Chris – thanks for this, I’ve been missing being in San Francisco so this gave me a little taste. Love the contrasting voices, accents, moods of your guests on this little show.
I remember opening space one time and getting to the moment where people get to make their conversation offers… and suddenly folks started to leave the room. It seemed like the group thought what I’d said was the cue for a toilet break… and of course, I panicked until I saw my poster with this principle on it, and remembered to smoke my own dope. Of course, everything worked out fine.
Actually, I often don’t bother telling participants about this or the other three principles as I find they emerge in the process. People manifest them. I’m inclined to Viv’s position on openings, keep ’em short, let the process teach people if they need teaching.
Call me a heretic 🙂
Oh, and I liked Alan Stewart’s motto: “When we treat each other well, good things happen.”
I imaging this question is asked a lot, and discussed a lot. I do think a lot of the difficulty comes from the phrasing.
“whatever happens is only thing that could have [happened]”
First off, what did just happen? That is always a matter of interpretation, and interpretation never stops. It is an action in the present to re-interpret past events, and that can have a profound effect on everything. Is that changing the past? I would say so.
The other really big problem is the tense of the “could have happened” part. You are projecting to the past, that choice was not possible. Choice about what to do in the past is over even if the interpretation may shift, but that doesn’t mean that different choices were not available then and now.
I agree with Ashley that the phrasing tends to cut off reflection. Rather than pointing to the present, it disempowers the past as a way to uncover new possibilities in the present.
Dear Ashley & Chris,
Thank you both for sending your mutual inspiration into the center of the circle – like blowing dandelion puffs off your hands and seeing where they go –
Nothing coherent was rising up in me to say at the time that Chris’ butterfly session was going on, but now that I’ve had a few days to reflect and sift,
this thought occurs to me: “oh, too bad I didn’t take some photos of Chris roaming around with his recorder, and Ashley’s question taped to his chest!”
and then I think: “oh! OK, that was my little Thing That Happened” …and I wonder about the place of regret (and sorrow and remorse, in more serious situations).
I think that “whatever happens is the only thing that could have” points to the manifestation of the exquisitely intricate web of interdependent co-arising conditions also known as ’cause and effect’. And John Engle’s lovely shift of vision forward points to the possibility of contributing consciously to the intricate web of interdependent conditions that co-arise next, and next, and now.
The “principle,” as Harrison has phrased it, encourages me to acknowledge that conditions were just ripe for the thing(s) that happened, and only that, and therefore not for the “parallel universes that didn’t happen,” (sorry Chris if I am remembering your phrase incorrectly) – and, if while acknowledging the unavoidability of what was already not avoided, I can also acknowledge that I feel sad or sorry about it (if that’s the case) – and choose regret over resignation or fatalism or dismissal – I am provoked to affect the conditions to be ripe for a preferable Something Else.
On the other hand, relaxing into the notion that it all happened the only way it could have, given the conditions that contributed to it, does help me spend less time in “oh, if only…” and more time in “ok, so now what?” and “what next?” and “I think I’m going to get an iPhone so that it will be easier to take photos and sync them with the rest of my life” (just kidding!!).
Choosing learning rather than suffering (inspired by Aine – thanks!)
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