What is the name that is big enough to hold your life?
Just returned from an event in Victoria to raise money and awareness for the first ever Authentic Leadership in Action Institute (ALIA) on the West Coast (May 19-22 at Royal Roads University, if you’re interested). Last evening, 120 people packed in to hear Meg Wheatley talking about leadership in uncertain times. She spoke mostly about the capacity for fearlessness, or a leadership stance that operates beyond hope and fear. It is something that she has been talking about for a long time, and in fact, she has a recent piece in the Shambhala Sun on this very topic.
Following her presentation, my colleague Jennifer Charlesworth and I hosted a cafe on three questions to deepen the exploration of fearlessness. We were working off of Meg’s presentation, but also an excellent article of Meg’s describing Eight Fearless Questions.
So if you read these two articles you can follow along at home and engage in the three questions that we threw into the cafe. Round one was conversation around the question of “When have I been fearless in my life?” Participants were invited to find a story of fearlessness, anchoring it as a touchstone to a deeper inqury.
For the second round we asked: “Who am I called to be for these times?” This is about finding the bigger you that is called into the world to face the challenges of systemic collapse and bringing the future into being.
Finally, we ended with the question “What name do I call myself?” THis question comes directly from Meg’s eight fearless questions, and it invites us to choose a name for ourselves that can hold our whole life. THis is a name beyond who we are and who we have been – it is a name that we tremble to live into. Here’s what Meg says about that question:
I have a colleague who first suggested this to me. And he said, “So many of us choose names that are too small for a whole life.” So, we call ourselves, ‘cancer survivors;’ that seems to be a very bold name, but is it big enough to hold a life? Or, ‘children of abuse.’ Or, we call ourselves ‘orphans,’ or ‘widows,’ or ‘martyrs’…. are these names big enough to hold your life?
And the second question that just occurred to me as I was doing this is, Are we choosing names that demand fearlessness? You’re a coach. You’re an executive. You’re a consultant. You’re a teacher. You’re a minister. You’re a hospital administrator. You’re a civil servant. Are those names demanding fearlessness of us? I don’t know what the names are that would create fearlessness, but I think this is a very important question.
The last movement of the Cafe was an invitation to find a question that you could live into for the next 30 days that would keep these insights alive as a little learning journey for you.
It was a lovely evening, good to see many friends new and old, even though I barely had time to connect with any of them, and it was a delight to see Meg again and work with Jennifer.
We’d love for you to consider joining us at ALIA in May.
I’ve been called nomad, it fits.
Great list, Chris. I especially like your 3rd question (based on Meg’s 1st), and Meg’s 4th. I think asking important questions is sometimes the best thing we can do, as leaders, mentors, facilitators, lovers, communicators (or whatever we name ourselves 🙂
Dave …yes…and big ones too.
Hi Chris–
These are the questions–
Can I use them, with a nod to you and of course to Meg, to start a meme worth writing about on facebook, etc? I’ll start on my site, and see what happens. Want your ok first, though–
Thanks–
Of course Beth…everything here is CC share alike. Let me know what you learn.
chris,
thanks…questions give me ideas for the upcoming moscow coffeehouses that matter wc,ost conference…
warmly,
raffi
Just a quick note to say how delightful it was to be there on Friday. It felt very fortunate to have Meg here on the island – and listening to her speak is such an excellent opportunity to hop off my cognitive treadmill and be present with the truth of what is…
I enjoyed the cafe, and as always I am carrying some of the stories that were shared with me. It was helpful to realize that a common thread in the stories of fearlessness were that people acted because they couldn’t not act (as Meg described it, too). Despite raised eyebrows, or possibilities of violence, or incomprehension, I heard people share fearless actions that ranged from moving continents, to holding peace in places of war, to holding a hand of someone taking their last breaths.
What I appreciate about being in circumstances where I can actually hear a big question being asked is that it does not seem to matter if an answer appears instantly or finds me months later… it seems to be enough to just take the question in and let it work its way with me.
So, plenty to sit with until May…
Thanks to all who made the night happen. :0)
Thanks for that feedback Christie…it’s always hard to know what is happening inside a cafe when I’m holding space.
And of course the idea that the question works us falls right in line with your beatiful principal of the conversation beginning before it starts and continuing after it ends.
It was great to see you on Friday.
thanks for this brother chris – having just read this post i can feel the sprouting beginnings as these questions stir the waters, and my curiosity to see what will arise. i also read it to my friend brad who is inspired to take these questions to his students (class called “myth, ritual and healing”)
love, christy
Beautiful Chris. The root questions that call out not just the self, but the SELF. Not just the we, but the WE. Thanks for the hit.
What an extraordinary post, and links to Meg Wheatley. Thank you for this, Chris.