Skill with language, invitation and holding the centre
On the Art of Hosting list we have been having a conversation about using language of participatory process. Often the language of these new social technologies can be jargony and off-putting for people who aren’t used to it. That can cause unnecessary defensiveness among participants. So I had some thoughts about using good language AND holding to a core centre…
Don’t fall in love with your processes and tools and langauge and conepts: instead respond to people’s needs and offer what you can and when they ask what it is called, or wonder if you are just making it up, you can point to the body of work, research and experience to be found when you Google “Open Space Technology.” or “World Cafe” or whatever. That will give them comfort if they need it without “selling” them on what we think is good for them
When we put our tools above our client’s needs we are putting ourselves above our clients. When we join a field of learning and curiosity and possibility with our clients and offer what we can, we become co-creative and participatory.
But while we must be careful that in taking care to help people understand the processes that we are not abandoning our centre. So it is a balance, a dance between what is known and unknown. Working at the edge of fear and anxiety can help people come to the next level. Too much comfort is a poison for our times.
I have found that, ALMOST more important that the language I use is the centre I hold. If I am strong and grounded in my centre, the skeptics cannot knock me about, and in fact they are rather drawn to where I am, curious and a little cautious. For you to bring the new into a system – true for any pioneer or leaders – there is a firmness in conviction that comes with an undying trust in possibility and emergence and is helped by having the scars of battle upon you. For sure experience helps you to temper and hold your centre, but you will not get your experience unless you feel what it’s like to stand for something and take the buffeting of uncertainty around you. And occasionally you will fail and that will be your greatest teacher.
So I think you need skill in holding the centre and skill in speaking about it. And that skill comes from practice.
So my business card says: “Asking inspiring questions, hosting powerful conversations, harvesting for wise action.” To the unfamiliar eye that is a tricky set of words to understand, but I stay unapologetic in my use of them, and I have, over the year, developed some facility in explaining them in a way that invites whoever I am speaking to to join me.
In conclusion, practice.
G’day Chris
You have put into words some things I have struggled to describe to myself and others. Recently I have been running workshops with very small groups (5 to 8 people) with really intangible and unknowable themes and questions. Groups seeking to build maps, for the first time, that connect previously isolated parts. The questions that have emerged from these workshops have been the important part of the harvest.
Many of the processes I have used in these ‘groan zone’ moments have emerged by using what I have with and around me – a large table or wall, another room, an outside space or whatever.
In preparing groups for these moments of ‘groaning’, I have been passing on some thinking skills in the form of Sam Kaners Diamond of Participation model. This seems to help people through the experience and helps me to hold the centre (with conviction) when suggesting a way forward.
I have just realised that many of the processes used in these times have produced “straw dog” maps of the terrain. Building these maps has helped to build shared understanding. One person in one group said at one tense moment of silence … “we have to get this right , it’s still to vague.” to which another replied … “that doesn’t matter, at least we have explored the grey areas between the different parts.”
geoff
Yes Geoff…I have had that experience many times. Once I sat with an organization for eight straight days drawing map after map of where they have been and where they might go and what tools might work. Those maps formed an unorthodox but deeply important strategic plan which was followed to the T for 18 months and got most of what was expected, including the anticipated pitfalls and fatal mistakes. The prescience of those conversations was astonishing.
Lovely.
And good for thinking of lanugage across culture also. Jargon-filled in English. And when taking that to another language (Japan), oy. Thus, yes, to the centre we hold. It itself is an invitation to be curious and move in. Thanks for this Chris.
kweseltun! these words are exactly what i needed in this moment. many cookies n jam. K
A couple of add-ons:
One. The map is not the territory. The map will never be drawn the “right” way. I love the vague conversation, the meanderings, the wanderings, the spacious travel of not having a path and no destination, of exploring the “in-between.”
And in the freedom of the wandering conversation, there is always the potential for the honest, authentic center of each individual to find a voice and add to the collective conversation. And in doing so, in offering an authentic voice to the center of the room, there is an exponential feedback loop that creates more freedom for movement, flow and exploration.
Two. What leads us to believe we need to refer to someone else’s map of the world to support our own innate and centered knowledge and expertise? We have let society program this into us. My body is the fastest, most intelligent, awesome bio-computer in the world. If I get out of the way and let it do its thing, from my center, with authenticity, I change myself and I change the world.
It is society and others, if we choose to let them, that creates the doubt in us all, that we are small, not powerful, not knowledgeable, not worthy. There is no need to refer to anyone else’s map than your own. It becomes unstoppable if you are truly speaking from your own authentic territory.