Thank you both for sending your mutual inspiration into the center of the circle – like blowing dandelion puffs off your hands and seeing where they go -

Nothing coherent was rising up in me to say at the time that Chris’ butterfly session was going on, but now that I’ve had a few days to reflect and sift,

this thought occurs to me: “oh, too bad I didn’t take some photos of Chris roaming around with his recorder, and Ashley’s question taped to his chest!”

and then I think: “oh! OK, that was my little Thing That Happened” …and I wonder about the place of regret (and sorrow and remorse, in more serious situations).

I think that “whatever happens is the only thing that could have” points to the manifestation of the exquisitely intricate web of interdependent co-arising conditions also known as ’cause and effect’. And John Engle’s lovely shift of vision forward points to the possibility of contributing consciously to the intricate web of interdependent conditions that co-arise next, and next, and now.

The “principle,” as Harrison has phrased it, encourages me to acknowledge that conditions were just ripe for the thing(s) that happened, and only that, and therefore not for the “parallel universes that didn’t happen,” (sorry Chris if I am remembering your phrase incorrectly) – and, if while acknowledging the unavoidability of what was already not avoided, I can also acknowledge that I feel sad or sorry about it (if that’s the case) – and choose regret over resignation or fatalism or dismissal – I am provoked to affect the conditions to be ripe for a preferable Something Else.

On the other hand, relaxing into the notion that it all happened the only way it could have, given the conditions that contributed to it, does help me spend less time in “oh, if only…” and more time in “ok, so now what?” and “what next?” and “I think I’m going to get an iPhone so that it will be easier to take photos and sync them with the rest of my life” (just kidding!!).

Choosing learning rather than suffering (inspired by Aine – thanks!)

“whatever happens is only thing that could have [happened]”

First off, what did just happen? That is always a matter of interpretation, and interpretation never stops. It is an action in the present to re-interpret past events, and that can have a profound effect on everything. Is that changing the past? I would say so.

The other really big problem is the tense of the “could have happened” part. You are projecting to the past, that choice was not possible. Choice about what to do in the past is over even if the interpretation may shift, but that doesn’t mean that different choices were not available then and now.

I agree with Ashley that the phrasing tends to cut off reflection. Rather than pointing to the present, it disempowers the past as a way to uncover new possibilities in the present.

I remember opening space one time and getting to the moment where people get to make their conversation offers… and suddenly folks started to leave the room. It seemed like the group thought what I’d said was the cue for a toilet break… and of course, I panicked until I saw my poster with this principle on it, and remembered to smoke my own dope. Of course, everything worked out fine.

Actually, I often don’t bother telling participants about this or the other three principles as I find they emerge in the process. People manifest them. I’m inclined to Viv’s position on openings, keep ‘em short, let the process teach people if they need teaching.

Call me a heretic